Cycling Double-Speak

Sorry to change the subject, but I found this quite entertaining (copied from RBR). In fact, I think I’ve heard some of these on MIT rides.

Flatland & Everyday Double-Speak

  • I’m tired today = I feel great and plan to dust you
  • No-drop ride = Better bring your cell phone, because you’ll need directions later
  • I’m sticking to my training plan = I’m on the wheel of the first guy who makes a move
  • I never get dropped = When I inevitably get dropped, I claim to have been sticking to my training plan
  • I’m toast = I’m hurting, but have saved just enough to beat you in the final sprint
  • I’ve never taken PEDs = Do we really need to bring up the past?
  • I haven’t been training at all lately = I’ve been training harder than ever to dominate our group ride
  • Today is a recovery day for me = You’re gonna be crying like a baby by the end of today’s ride
  • I need some good base mileage at a moderate HR = I’m going to race you from the start
  • My shifting has been really balky lately = I just did a complete tune-up and perfectly dialed in everything
  • It’s a recovery ride / I’m sore / I’m coming down with something / I’m just going to spin today, etc. = If I get dropped it’s because of whatever lame excuse I just mentioned

Mountains Double-Speak

  • I’ll wait for you at the top of the climb = When you finally come rolling up, I’ll take off like a rabbit, bomb down the other side and then thrash you again on the next climb
  • I plan to just “sit in” and not do any work today = If I get a chance I’m going to drill it and break this group apart on the first climb
  • I wore my climbing shoes today = I really feel like dirt, but I don’t want you to know it for fear you’ll “wait for me at the top”
  • This climb always destroys me = You’ll be seeing nothing but my backside fading into the distance
  • We’ll all ride together up each climb = Why pretend; we all know there will be at least 3 separate groups after the first mile
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About McShorty

He started out riding trails on his CT 26" mountain bike eventually moving to a real mountain bike and added road riding to his menu over the last few years. He would like to scale the barricades put before him at times, but hasn't always succeeded!