Sorry to change the subject, but I found this quite entertaining (copied from RBR). In fact, I think I’ve heard some of these on MIT rides.
Flatland & Everyday Double-Speak
- I’m tired today = I feel great and plan to dust you
- No-drop ride = Better bring your cell phone, because you’ll need directions later
- I’m sticking to my training plan = I’m on the wheel of the first guy who makes a move
- I never get dropped = When I inevitably get dropped, I claim to have been sticking to my training plan
- I’m toast = I’m hurting, but have saved just enough to beat you in the final sprint
- I’ve never taken PEDs = Do we really need to bring up the past?
- I haven’t been training at all lately = I’ve been training harder than ever to dominate our group ride
- Today is a recovery day for me = You’re gonna be crying like a baby by the end of today’s ride
- I need some good base mileage at a moderate HR = I’m going to race you from the start
- My shifting has been really balky lately = I just did a complete tune-up and perfectly dialed in everything
- It’s a recovery ride / I’m sore / I’m coming down with something / I’m just going to spin today, etc. = If I get dropped it’s because of whatever lame excuse I just mentioned
Mountains Double-Speak
- I’ll wait for you at the top of the climb = When you finally come rolling up, I’ll take off like a rabbit, bomb down the other side and then thrash you again on the next climb
- I plan to just “sit in” and not do any work today = If I get a chance I’m going to drill it and break this group apart on the first climb
- I wore my climbing shoes today = I really feel like dirt, but I don’t want you to know it for fear you’ll “wait for me at the top”
- This climb always destroys me = You’ll be seeing nothing but my backside fading into the distance
- We’ll all ride together up each climb = Why pretend; we all know there will be at least 3 separate groups after the first mile