So, I’m doing a trainer workout to the Hell-Hath-No-Fury Sufferfest video and this is the “interview” with the team coach after completion of the first stage, where I lost the jersey by not sprinting hard enough:
We’re here interviewing Sufferlandrian DS Grunter von Agony.
Q; Grunter: Sufferlandrians are shocked. What is the chance of getting the jersey back?
A; Sufferlandrians, I won’t lie: This is tough times. It is Yak S%$*T. But we know we will be boiled alive if we don’t win, so motivation is high.
Q; Without a sprinter, is it possible to get the lead back?
A: Ack. Tough. We must will have to attack. Like a Sufferlandrian Wildebeast. We will attack them…and tie them to stakes…and gouge out them eyes, smash their bikes…grease them as if pigs and light them on fire…and dance on their chamois. We do chamois dance. Like so but yes. We can take the lead.
Q; You make Sufferlandria proud, Grunter. Hail Sufferlandria IWBMATTKYT.
Chamois dance? I wonder if that’s as entertaining as Shorty’s power-gel-chin-pile? I think Shorty should learn the chamois dance for us and then we could all do it on Rosebank Road at the next Morden Backforty century ride (of course, we would only ‘say’ we wanted to learn it and then berate Shorty ever after for actually doing it…he could use Jim’s or Andy’s chamois for the demo).